Parental Control: Special Edition
by lilangelita
Summary: Newlywed's Milliardo and Noin Peacecraft get the help of MTV's Parental Control to find Relena a new and more suitable boyfriend. This episode Milliardo surprises all, and manages to anger a few along the way. Just plain wackiness.
1. Interviews And Choices

A. N.: The idea came to me when I was cleaning the living room and I happened to glance at the TV for a second. Parental Control was on MTV and for some strange reason I started thinking of Heero and Relena being put on the show -- so of course I couldn't help but write a fic about my little strange idea. This is my first try at anything remotely funny and I really hope ya'll do in fact find it so. Anyways, this isn't anything serious -- just wrote it for fun I guess. Ergh, and I'm supposed to be on a hiatus! XD Enjoy! Oh, by the way, the show doesn't really go like this but for now why don't we just pretend like it does? 

Warning: This is will be AU, OOC and all that other good junk! Note, I shall not be held responsible for what I write when comedy deprived and really bored out of my mind while taking care of little brother. Okay?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or MTV's Parental Control -- which by the way is strangely better than Date My Mom, scary.

-" . . ."- Denotes thought.

Parental Control: Special Edition

Narrator: On today's Special Edition of Parental Control you'll meet Preventers Milliardo Peacecraft and Lucrezia Noin -- the two newlyweds don't like Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian's current boyfriend and have taken it upon themselves to go in search for someone much more suitable in their opinion for the young politician. After the dates are over Relena has the choice to either stay with her current boyfriend or pick from the other two young men. Which will she choose? Will she stay with her boyfriend of two years or ditch him and run off with one of the bachelors her brother and sister-in-law have picked out for her? Stay tuned and find out . . .

Noin: It's not that I don't like Heero --

Milliardo: -frowns- I don't like him at all. Relena can do better.

Noin: -glares at Milliardo and then returns to face camera- Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, -Milliardo snorts and smirks- Heero isn't a bad guy. Deep down inside I know he cares deeply for Relena, but I also know for a fact that Relena wants more than their current relationship and I just don't think Heero's ready yet to give her what she wants.

Milliardo: -crosses arms- I respect and acknowledge the kid. I just don't want him near my little sister. He's no good for her, she needs and deserves someone better and by staying with him she's only limiting her opportunities.

Noin: Geez, you make it sound like he's one huge mistake.

Milliardo: -blinks- He is. I thought we both agreed on that. Isn't that why we came on this show?

Noin: -smacks Milliardo on the head- No! It's not!

Milliardo: Huh? Then why did we --?

Narrator: Anyways, now that we know their reasons behind this let's see what Relena has to say about her older brother and sister-in-law making this kind of decision for her. Roll the clip!

Relena: The only reason I am going through with this is so that Milliardo will finally get off of my back about Heero not being good enough for me. Hopefully, once I'm through both of the dates he'll realize I love Heero with all of my heart and that there's nothing he can do to change that.

-Aw! How sweet!-

Narrator: Now, what does this ex-bodyguard and now boyfriend of young politician Relena Darlian have to say about all of this?

Heero: -scowls- Hn, damn Zechs.

Narrator: . . . And there you have it, folks. Words to live by. Alright, now let's move on to the search for those two lucky young men!

Interview #1:

Noin: -looks guy over and thinks, "Hmm, I can already tell this guy isn't Relena's type."- So, I can see you really like piercings.

Guy #1: Yeah. They're cool.

Milliardo: -frowns- How many do you have?

Guy #1: -shrugs carelessly- I dunno know. A lot, I guess.

Noin: -sighs, "This is definately going to take a while."-

Interview #2:

Guy #2: I like a woman with a lot of junk in the trunk, you know? Not so much of a chester, but she do need to have a nice rack, you know? That's about all I look in for a woman, you know?

Milliardo: No, we don't know and we don't care to find out either.

Noin: Next!

Interview #3:

Milliardo: T-Trowa Barton? What the hell are you doing here?

Trowa: -shrugs- I had nothing better to do, the circus is taking a break.

Noin: -"Well, that's just great."- Do you even like Relena?

Trowa: She is beautiful.

Milliardo: -plays with his long hair- Hmm, alright . . . We'll think it over.

Trowa: -nods and leaves-

Noin: -smiles saccharinely- Um, honey? -Milliardo turns and Noin wacks him on the head, a bump grows- Weren't we supposed to ask him questions?

Milliardo: -rubs head in pain- Huh?

Interview #4:

Noin: Quatre? No offense, but what're you doing here?

Quatre: -smiles sincerely- I've always admired Miss Relena.

Noin: -blinks- But weren't you dating Dorothy? What happened?

Quatre: -pales- Uh, she doesn't know I'm here.

Milliardo: Well, she will soon enough.

Quatre: -panicks- Why? Are you going to tell her I was here?

Milliardo: This is all being taped. For TV.

Quatre: WHAT? OH, NO! -runs off-

-silence-

Noin: We'll just mark him down as a "maybe."

Interview #5:

Noin: Well, this is a surprise. I thought you were dating Hilde.

Milliardo: Yeah, weren't the two of you crazy about each other?

Duo: -winks- This is all part of the plan.

Milliardo: -scrunches up nose- What plan?

Duo: -leans back in chair- To see if Heero really loves princess. I know you two don't think so, but I know for a fact he does and I'll be more than willing to prove it to you guys.

Noin: -crosses arms- Is Hilde aware of your plan?

Duo: -snorts- Is she aware? We have a bet on whether or not Heero gets jealous enough about me dating princess that he'll actually come after me during the date. Hilde doesn't think so 'cause she thinks he's gay, but I think he'll get crazy jealous -- I can guarantee it.

Milliardo: -grins- I'll be holding you to that.

Noin: Wait, but what if Heero does come after you?

Duo: Hmph, I'll run and hide from that suicidal maniac.

Narrator: Now that they've met and interviewed the young men it's time to make their final choice. Who will they pick? -dramatic music plays in background-

Noin: Well, my pick is Quatre . . . But is he even around anymore?

Milliardo: I think Dorothy's in outer space so he probably is.

Noin: -arches eyebrow- How do you know that?

Milliardo: I have that girl on watch. I don't feel safe not knowing where she is.

Noin: . . . Okaay. Anyways, who'd you pick?

Milliardo: -smirks- You'll see.

Noin: -sweats, "I have a bad feeling about this. Please forgive us for what we are about to do, Relena . . . eh, Heero, too I guess."-

Narrator: The choices have now finally been made and everyone is in the newlywed's living room waiting for Noin's first pick to arrive, even the stoic boyfriend seems to be a little nervous and anxious. A first from the emotionless young man we first met. Now, let's see what happens . . .

-dead silence-

Noin: -"Ugh! I can't stand this!"- So . . . Are you worried, Heero? -slaps forehead, "Oh, no. Why the hell did I say that?"-

Heero: -shrugs- Should I be?

Milliardo: -grins- I would be if I were you.

Heero: -glares- Hn. Whatever.

Milliardo: Pretty confident aren't we, Heero?

Heero: -furrows eyebrows- I don't see the need to worry over some guys you two picked out. Relena probably won't even like them much less fall in love with them like the two of you have already predicted.

Milliardo: We'll see now won't we?

Relena: -enters living room- Milliardo, please don't put any awful ideas into Heero's head.

-room goes silent at Relena's very attractive outfit-

Heero: -frowns- What is that?

Relena: -blinks and sits down next to him- What? Is something wrong?

Heero: -growls and points at outfit- You never dress like that when we go out on dates.

Relena: -sighs and looks away- Well that's because we go out once in a great while and I'm always too tired to even dress up. This was planned for in advance and since it's going to be on TV I thought it'd be nice to look attractive for once . . . Is that bad?

Heero: -clenches fists- Yes. You're my girlfriend.

Relena: -frowns- What're you trying to say, Heero? That you're the only one who has the right to see me looking nice?

Heero: -finally snaps- Yes! That's exactly what I'm saying! Now go change into something less reveling, Relena!

Relena: -crosses arms- No, I refuse to. I like what I'm wearing, and it's not like I'm wearing anything indecent.

Noin: -while couple continues fighting whispers into Milliardo's ear- I'm surprised you're not screaming your head off at Heero for arguing with Relena like he is. Usually you start yelling at him if he even looks at her "strangely."

Milliardo: -smirks- I'm not butting in because this is a good arguement. This way she leaves on her date already angry at Yuy and then who knows what she might do just to spite him.

Noin: -shakes head- Relena isn't like that and you know it.

Milliardo: Still, one can hope.

Quatre: -clears throat loudly- Uh, excuse me.

-everyone stops and stares at Quatre who is standing by the door with a bouquet of red roses in his hands-

Narrator: Damn! We didn't get to give him a huge introduction! Uh, I mean . . . Would you look at that, Noin's choice is head of the Winner family -- Quatre Raberba Winner.

Relena: -blinks- Quatre?

Quatre: -smiles shyly and hands Relena the roses- It's nice to see you again, Relena -- you look as beautiful as ever. Here, these are for you.

Relena: -blushes and takes roses gingerly- Thank you, Quatre. They're lovely.

-silence as the two stare deeply into each other's eyes-

Noin: -wipes tear away, "That is so beautiful. I wish I had a camera to take a picture of this clichéd moment."-

-(flash)-

-everyone turns and stares at Milliardo who is holding a cell phone in his hand-

Milliardo: What? It was cute. Relena never has innocent and heart-warming moments like that with Yuy.

Heero: -scowls at Relena- Well, wouldn't you like to know the kind of moments --

Relena: -clamps Heero's mouth shut with her hands- Don't you dare finish that sentence if you still want to be with me.

Heero: -glares at her but nods and Relena lets go- You better not do something stupid if you want me to still be here when you return.

Relena: -smiles brightly- Don't worry, Heero. I love you and only you.

Heero: -grasps Relena's chin and whispers- Relena . . .

Noin: -slightly fidgets- Um, guys, Quatre's still waiting over here.

Relena: -breaks free of Heero's grasp and smiles at Quatre- I'm so sorry, Quatre. I know that's not the sort of thing you want to see or hear before going on a date with somebody.

Quatre: -smiles back- That's alright, Relena. Ready to go?

Milliardo: -clears throat- First, we have to go over some rules, like --

Noin: -pushes Relena and Quatre out the door- Go! Run and have fun! Don't look back!

-silence-

Heero: . . . That was a little bit over-dramatic, Noin.

Noin: -sighs- Would you rather have had to hear the long-winded speech about "proper date etiquette" again?

Heero: -shudders- Thanks, nice save.

Milliardo: Hmph. Let's just go and see what they're up to on their date.

Narrator: Now that their date is underway what will happen between the two? Will Relena Darlian like Quatre Raberba Winner more than her current boyfriend? And what will ensue between the newlywed's and stoic boyfriend? . . . Who knows. Anyways, tune in next time to find out!

A. N.: Uhhhhh, I don't know what I was on when I wrote this. Hopefully, it was somewhat funny to you people! I've never done funny before. So, yeah, review and tell me how much you hated and despised my poor little fic. THERE WILL BE MORE ON THE WAY, MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Run in fear little kiddies! -coughs- I think I need to take my medicine before I go totally crazy . . . R&R, please!


	2. The First Date

A. N.: And here is the second installment! Hopefully, you guys will enjoy it with a smile. :D Anyways, I had one of my friends read the last chapter, even though she knew nothing about Gundam Wing, and she found one line particularly funny, "junk in the trunk." Yeah, I was embarrassed but what's new? Alright, enough of that now on with the fic! And once again, the show doesn't really go like this but for now why don't we pretend like it does? Enjoy!

Warning: Once again, this shall be AU, OOC, and all that good junk! You are hearby warned. So, yeah, that's about it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or MTV's Parental Control, blah, blah, blah -- you get it so don't sue me!

-". . ."- Denotes thought.

Parental Control: Special Edition Part II: The First Date

Narrator: And we are back with another Special Edition epsiode of Parental Control. At this very moment Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian is enjoying her first date with head of the Winner family Quatre Raberba Winner while her brother, sister-in-law, and boyfriend are currently sitting down on the newlywed's couch and watching anxiously. Now, how about we check up on Relena and Quatre's date thus far? As we speak the two are at one of Quatre's many residences, let's see what they're up to . . .

Relena: -blinks- You know how to cook, Quatre?

Quatre: -smiles nervously and begins to fidget- To tell you the truth, no. But Trowa told me it'd be a nice way to start off a date, so . . .

Relena: -smiles brightly- I'm sure you're cooking will taste wonderful, Quatre. I can't wait.

-half an hour later-

Quatre: Hmm, I was so sure I went exactly by the directions. -looks at box of Hamburger Helper- I don't know what I did wrong.

Relena: -covers mouth- Where's the closest bathroom?

Quatre: -panicks- Oh, no! Are you okay, Relena! -turns, begins to freak out and throws box behind him, accidentally hitting Relena in the head- What do I do? Oh, no! What if I food poisoned Relena? Ah, I killed the Vice Foreign Minister!

Relena: -clutches stomach- I'm not dead YET Quatre, but a certain someone will be if they don't show me to the nearest bathroom SOON.

Quatre: -laughs nervously- Uh, right. Hold on, Relena!

Narrator: Um, well, why don't we go and check out what Relena's boyfriend reaction is to all of this?

Heero: -grits teeth- That idiot's going to end up getting her killed.

Noin: -sweats- I wouldn't say that. -"Dammit, Quatre, you better not screw this up for me!"-

Milliardo: Aside from food poisoning her, I think it's going rather well.

-silence-

Heero: You're serious?

Milliardo: -shrugs- He was a gentleman.

Heero: Hmph. He was a gentleman about almost killing your sister.

Milliardo: -mutters- Unlike someone else I know . . .

Heero: -clenches fists- I'm gonna kill you.

Milliardo: -chuckles- I don't respond to empty threats.

Heero: -pulls gun out- Trust me, this isn't some idle threat.

Noin: -blinks, "Where on earth did he get that gun from?"- Um, Heero where did you get that gun?

Heero: Does it matter? I'm about to kill your husband here.

Noin: -shrugs- Guess not. -smacks him in the back of the head with her own gun and sighs- That should keep him quiet for a couple minutes.

Narrator: Okaay. Why don't we check up on Relena's and Quatre's date instead? Let's see what those two are up to.

Quatre: -looks over list- Hmm. Okay, so the dinner didn't work out . . . Then that leaves us the movie. -turns and smiles- What kind of movie would you like to see, Relena?

Relena: -still clutching her stomach- Whichever, so long as it's not gruesome.

Quatre: -nods- Alright. Let's go. -"I think Trowa told me about a good movie to watch when on a date was . . ."-

-about an hour later-

Quatre: Uh, are you alright Relena?

Relena: -sighs- Yes, I think so. Good thing I threw up everything I ate at your house, Quatre.

Quatre: -fidgets with his fingers- I am so sorry, Relena. I had no idea what that movie was actually like! I swear! If I had known it was going to be so gory --

Relena: -smiles weakly- It's alright Quatre, really. I had . . . an interesting time.

Quatre: -frowns- Relena, I know this date didn't turn out the way it was supposed to, but I just want to let you know that I do really like you. -pauses and blushes- A lot, in fact.

Relena: Oh, Quatre. -smiles sincerely- I think that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever told me. Thank you.

Quatre: -lowers head and begins to move towards Relena slowly- Relena . . .

Heero: -appears out of nowhere and points a gun at Quatre's head- Don't you dare take another step forward if you value your life, Quatre!

Quatre: -freezes- H-Heero? What're you doing here?

Relena: -frowns- Yes, Heero, I'd like to know that myself.

Heero: -growls- He was about to kiss you, Relena. I was protecting you.

Relena: From a harmless kiss? Heero, have you gone mad?

Heero: -still pointing gun- Have you, Relena?

Noin: -runs and stops right behind Heero- Damn, Heero! You wake up fast from a blow to the head!

Milliardo: -mumbles from afar- That just doesn't sound right.

Noin: Heero, we have to go. Com'on, they're still on their date.

Heero: -glares at Quatre, who is still frozen in the same position- I'm not leaving, and this date is OVER.

Noin: -sighs- I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice Heero. -raises hand with gun towards Heero's head, but is stopped by Heero's gunless left hand- Heero!

Heero: I won't fall for the same trick twice, Noin.

Milliardo: It's no trick, Heero. -knocks Heero out with a lead pipe- There. That should hold for more than a few minutes.

Noin: Hmph. -"Where the hell did he get the lead pipe?"-

Milliardo: -turns to camera- By the way kids, what I just did was very dangerous and had it been done to anyone other than Heero, they probably would've been hurt pretty badly. So don't try it at home.

Relena: -runs to Heero's side- Don't try it here! Milliardo, Heero's got two huge bumps on his head now!

Milliardo: -points to Noin- Don't blame me. Noin started it.

Noin: -smacks Milliardo- Only because he was about to kill you if I hadn't!

Milliardo: Well, he was about to kill Quatre. I saved him.

Noin: -rubs temple- Oh, whatever. -grabs Heero by the ankle and begins to drag him away- Don't mind us Relena. Just pretend like we never interrupted your date. Bye! Com'on Milliardo, you too!

Milliardo: -mutters under his breath- You don't have to order me around . . .

Noin: -smiles saccharinely- What was that, dear?

Milliardo: -returns smile and runs to catch up with Noin- Nothing, sweetheart!

Noin: -smirks- I thought so. -they turn a corner and disappear-

Relena: -blinks and sighs- I hope they take care of Heero.

Quatre: -grabs Relena's hand- Don't worry, Relena. I'm sure Noin will take great care of Heero. Now, -whips out list- let's go take a nice walk along the beach.

Relena: -forces smile- Okay. That sounds relaxing.

Narrator: -sighs- Now, doesn't that sound absolutely sweet? Well, as the date is coming to a close why don't we go and check up on the newlywed's with Relena's currently knocked out boyfriend? -aside- Usually, these dates are so dull and boring. Maybe we should do some more with politicians? Huh, we're still on? Oh, crap! Um, let's now go and see what those three are up to?

Milliardo: Hmm, they're just walking. They haven't even talked peacefully throughout this whole date . . . -under his breath- Relena will be sure to choose the people I picked out for her.

Noin: -narrows eyebrows- People?

Milliardo: -scratches the back of his head- Ah, I mean person! Person! Hahahaha! Oh look, I think I saw Heero just twitch!

Noin: -turns abruptly towards the corner of the room where she dumped Heero's unconscious body- He's still knocked out cold, thankfully. But he will be waking up soon . . .

Milliardo: -lays back on the sofa- Don't worry, honey. The date's already over.

Noin: -clenches fists- What? I missed the ending of the date! Ergh, Milliardo --

Relena: -opens door- I'm back!

Heero: -blinks awake at the sound of Relena's voice- Relena?

Relena: -rushes to his side- Heero, are you okay?

Heero: -frowns- Did you kiss him?

Relena: Heero, let me see your head . . .

Heero: -grabs her wrist- Relena!

Relena: -sighs and looks away- He tried to kiss me again --

Noin: -smiles- He did? -"Oh, Quatre! You didn't let me down! You might even still have a chance!"-

Heero: -grows tense- . . . And?

Relena: I moved away and dodged it . . . And I think I hurt his feelings.

Heero: Relena . . .

Milliardo: -chuckles- Well, now it's onto my pick.

Heero: -pales, "I don't know if I can handle another date."-

Noin: -crosses arms- Which is whom?

Milliardo: -grins- You'll soon see.

Narrator: Who did Milliardo pick? And how will Heero react towards this new rival? Will the next date be as wild as the first, and does Quatre still have a chance with the Vice Foreign Minister? All will be answered in the next episode of Parental Control: Special Edition. So tune in next time!

A. N.: Whew! And it is done! I hope you guys found it funny, and the next update will hopefully come sooner. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think! 


	3. Milliardo's Pick?

A. N.: Yay! The third installment of my little weird fic (maybe last?)! I'm so happy that people are reviewing and actually liking my story -- it really helps to know that when I'm writing at like 2: 00 in the morning and practically falling asleep on my laptop. XD So, many thanks to all of you that have reviewed, I love you all immensely! And this one is for you! . . . Well, actually they're all for you, but you know what I mean. Brought to you courtesy of hours on end listening to some Ramon Ayala. Enjoy! 

Warning: Once again, this shall be AU, OOC, and all that good junk! You are hearby warned. So, yeah, that's about it . . . And, um, I think this is the oddest fic I've ever written.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or MTV's Parental Control, blah, blah, blah -- you get it so don't sue me!

-". . ."- Denotes thought.

Parental Control: Special Edition Part III: Milliardo's Pick?

Narrator: And here we are once again back with a new episode of Parental Control: Special Edition. This episode we'll finally get to see who Milliardo Peacecraft choose for Vice Foreign Minister Relena Darlian's next date. You can literally cut the tension with a knife . . .

Noin: -narrows eyebrows- So, that's your-so-called "pick"?

Milliardo: -laughs maniacally- Hahahahahaha! -pauses and then coughs- Yes.

Noin: -grows a twitch in her left eye- Sweetie, don't you think that's a little unfair?

Milliardo: -blinks- No.

Noin: -growls- Well, I DO! -grabs Milliardo by the collar and begins to beat him up senseless- YOU -beep- AFRO -beep- CHICKEN --

-men in black mysteriously come in-

Men In Black: Hey, miss, you're not allowed to say things like that.

Noin: -blinks- Who are you people? And where did you come from?

Milliardo: -whispers through a bruised mouth- My heroes . . . -passes out-

Men In Black: No one you need to concern yourself with. Just be careful of what you say, or else. -makes weird hand movements-

Noin: -drops Milliardo- GASP! You're the FCC, aren't you!

Men In Black: -glares, "Are we that obvious?"- No, we're . . . the men in black.

Noin: -crosses arms- I can see that, but what --

Men In Black: -looks around- Someone's coming. Hmm, we must leave for now, but remember . . . We're always watching what you saaaaay . . . Remember . . . -they leave through the back door-

Noin: -blinks again- Okay, that was really strange.

Relena: -enters room with Heero in tow- Noin, who were you talking to? We heard voices, and -- Oh, my god! Milliardo! -rushes to his side- What happened to him?

Noin: -fidgets- Um, would you believe me if I said a couple of men in black came in and beat him up?

Heero: No, but I would for the sake of seeing him beat up like this more often.

Relena: Heero!

Milliardo: -suddenly recovers- Hmm, what happened?

Noin: -quickly- You were beat up by some men in black.

Milliardo: -blinks- Really? Strange, why would men in black come after me?

Noin: -smiles nervously- Who knows? Hey, why don't we all go to the living room?

Heero: We are in the living room.

Noin: -laughs- Right. Um, okay. So . . . Oh, -grows angry- Did Milliardo tell you who he "picked"?

Heero and Relena: -who are now both sitting on the couch- No.

Noin: It's totally unfair! He picked --

Duo: -comes through the back door- Hey, what's up?

Heero: -stands right up and glares- Duo? -turn to Milliardo- You picked that? Out of all those people you interviewed -- And wait, don't you already have Hilde?

Noin: -from corner of the room- And when did we get a back door near the living room all of a sudden?

Duo: -grins- Um, well . . . We broke up!

Heero: -crosses arms- So you decide to date one of her best friends, and have it all taped for her to later see?

Duo: -frowns- When you put it like that, it does sound kinda bad. -thinks and then smiles- Hmm, oh well.

Trowa: -appears out of thin air- Hello.

-everyone shrieks like a little girl, even Heero-

Heero: -narrows eyebrows- What're you doing here, Trowa? -turns to camera- And I did not shriek like a little girl -- I bellowed like a man.

Noin: -rolls eyes, "Sure, whatever." and then smiles evilly- Yes, wouldn't we all like to know?

Trowa: . . .

Heero: -impatiently- Well?

Milliardo: -grins- He's Relena's date, along with Duo.

Relena: Is that allowed? -everyone looks at her- Not that I'm complaining. -they continue to stare- Um, well, I didn't mean it like that! Oh, just nevermind. -sighs defeatedly-

Milliardo: -looks at nails- Well, I did have to persuade some of the producers of the show --

-Flashback-

Producer #1: We're sorry, but that's not how the show works

Producer #2: Yes, we cannot do that.

Producer #3: If we did that it'd be like another "Dismissed" and we've already done that enough times.

Milliardo: -cracks knuckles and locks door- Well, you can make an exception can't you?

Producer #1: Um, well . . . Uh, we can have them go on "Room Raiders"! It's our most popular show to date and --

Milliardo: -lifts chin- I don't want that. Either make the exception or else.

Producer #3: -gulps- Or else what?

Milliardo: -blinks- I don't know just yet. -grins maniacally- No ones ever made it this far --

Producer #2: -looks around- Uh, boys! I think we can make an exception this one time! Right?

Producer #1 and 3: Yes, of course!

Milliardo: -pats them on the back- Alright then. We have a deal. -they nod and he begins to leave- Oh, by the way. -they sit still and begin to sweat heavily- Is that offer for "Room Raiders" still up?

-End of Flashback-

Milliardo: -beams- Thus concludes my wonderful story of how I persuaded the producers to make an exception to their show this one time.

Heero: -growls- That's not persuading!

Noin: -rubs chin thoughtfully- Although, it is a good way to force them to do what you want. -gives him a thumbs up- Excellent work, sweetie! That was brilliant!

Heero: -mumbles- No, it wasn't. It was stupid.

Duo: Ha, I think it was kinda funny!

Trowa: . . .

Milliardo: -chuckles, ignoring everyone else's remarks- Well, I am a brilliant man.

Noin: -smiles- Really, who would of thought you could've kept a secret like this for so long? I'm very proud of you!

Milliardo: Why, thank you, Noin. I did put a lot of thought into it, and of course it was excecuted succesfully. But you were a very hard person to keep a secret such as this from, I'll give you that.

Noin: -beams- A compliment! Thanks, sweetie!

Milliardo: -flips hair dramatically- I do try to give praise where praise is due.

Heero: -sighs- Would you two cut it out already? We're still rolling here.

Noin: -laughs- Oh, right! Sorry!

Milliardo: -goes to sit down- My apologies. Now where were we?

Heero: -glares- You were about to tell us why the hell you would give Relena a double date --

Kuno: -pops in from back door- Did someone say double date?

Duo: -blinks- Um . . . Who are you? And what's with the get-up?

Noin: -frowns, "How do complete strangers creep in through that back door? And why? . . . We should reallyremove that door . . ."-

Kuno: Hmm? Fool! Why, I'm the Tatewaki Kuno of --

Girl Ranma: -lands on Kuno's head, knocks him out- Sorry 'bout that. He tends to wander around and get lost when someone ain't watching over him.

Akane: -walks up beside Girl Ranma- Ranma, Ryoga does that, Kuno's just a pervert. Anyways, let's get out of here, Kuno somehow managed to drag us into another fandom. -drags Kuno behind her and blinks- Are you actually on a double date?

Relena: -smiles nervously- Uh, well . . . sort of.

Girl Ranma: Wow. Serious? Akane would never let me do that with Shampoo and Ukyo -- especially if it was all being taped. -eyes camera-

Akane: -grins- Would you let me double date Ryoga and Kuno?

Girl Ranma: -frowns and growls under breath- No.

Akane: -smiles- Alright then, com'on Ranma let's go. We've bothered them enough as it is.

Girl Ranma: -shrugs, follows Akane and mutters softly- Hmph, like Ryoga's not a pervert.

Kuno: -wakes up- Ah! Pigtailed girl, you have come for me! I shall let you date me just --

Girl Ranma: -kicks Kuno in the face, knocks him out again- Shaddup, ya perv! Feh, let's get outta here before he wakes up again.

-they disappear-

Trowa: . . . That was odd.

Everyone: -blinks-

Trowa: What?

Duo: -shakes head- You're one to talk, pal.

Milliardo: Anyways, now that that's out of the way . . . Why don't we talk about "proper date etiquette"?

Noin and Heero: -push Relena, Duo, and Trowa out the door-

Noin: Don't look back! Run!

Heero: -blinks and slaps forehead- Why did I just do that?

Milliardo: -looks at TV- Well, we might as well get comfy and try to enjoy the show.

Heero: -growls and sits down- One of these days I'm gonna -beep- and -beep- until -beep- over -beep- dead --

Men In Black: Miss, what did we tell you?

Noin: -eyes widen- Uh-oh! It's the FCC again! They've come back for me!

Heero: Huh? -blinks and looks around- We have a back door?

Noin: -grabs Milliardo- Run!

-BEEP-

Narrator: Um, alright. A lot of stuff has been happening and we seem to be having some technical difficulties. Why don't we go and see what's going on with Relena and her dates while . . . Noin and the others take care of that sudden problem they have.

Relena: -sings- Mira como ando mi amor  
Por tu querer  
Borracha y apasionada  
No mas por tu amor  
Mira como ando mi bien  
Muy dada a la borrachera  
Y a la perdicion . . .

Duo: . . . Any particular reason why you're singing in spanish, princess?

Relena: Huh? -pauses and thinks- I . . . have no idea.

Duo: Uh, okay. Anyways, where do are we gonna go? In my opinion I think we should go do some mini-golf!

Relena: -blinks- Mini-golf?

Duo: -grins- Yep, trust me princess you'll love it! -grabs her hand and begins to drag her away-

Trowa: -grabs Relena's other hand- Hold on . . .

Duo: Huh?

Trowa: -narrows eyes- I think we should go to a museum.

Duo: -sticks tongue out- Bleh! A museum? No! We're gonna go play some mini-golf! -tugs on Relena's right hand-

Trowa: -frowns- Museum . . . -tugs on Relena's left hand- Mini-golf is for uncultured fools.

Relena: -softly- Uh, you guys --

Duo: -tugs even harder on Relena's hand- Mini-golf!

Trowa: -tugs back- Museum.

Duo: -pulls- MINI-GOLF!

Trowa: -pulls back- Museum.

Relena: -screams- I AM FILLED WITH CHRIST LOVE!

-silence-

Duo: Um, good for you? But what does that have to do with what we're arguing about, princess?

Relena: I . . . Have no idea.

Trowa: You dont many ideas lately, do you?

Relena: Well, everyone was arguing . . . So I felt like I had to say something.

Duo: And Christ love is the first thing that came to mind?

Relena: -shrugs- It could've been worse --

Noin: -pops out of nowhere- Yeah. Like last time she yelled out, "WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?" at a diplomatic conference. It was hilarious!

Heero: -frowns- It was not hilarious. It was embarrasing. They all looked at her like she was crazy.

Noin: But hey, at least they all stopped arguing long enough to listen to her opinion afterwards.

Heero: Hmph.

Noin: And then somebody actually told her, -pauses and does suave voice- "Vice Minister, I'd love to go to prom with you," once the conference was ajourned.

Heero: Hmph.

Noin: -giggles- But of course you had to kill it with, -pauses and does monotone voice- "If anyone's taking Relena to prom -- it's going to be me." -sighs and wipes tear away- Good times.

Heero: If you can call it that.

Relena: Um, any reason why you're both here?

Noin: -smiles- We interrupted your last date, why not this one?

Heero: -crosses arms- I only came here to stop these two idiots from continuing to argue.

Relena: Okay. Well then where's Milliardo?

Heero and Noin: He's taking a nap.

-silence-

Relena: Do I even want to know?

Noin: -raises arms- It was the men in black again!

Relena: Huh?

Heero: -shakes head- You wouldn't believe it. -"I still don't."-

Relena: Alright . . .

Duo: Yo! Can we get back to our date?

Trowa: -crosses arms- Yes, can we?

Heero: -grits teeth- You call this catastrophe a "date"?

Duo: -gives a sheepish grin- Is it really going THAT bad?

Heero: Yes, IT is.

Trowa: -leans against a wall -- where did that wall come from?- I don't think so. I think it's going rather well.

Relena: Yes, I thought so too.

Duo: -blinks- Really?

Trowa: -raises right eyebrow-

Relena: -smiles brightly- Well, I haven't been food poisoned or grossed out yet. So I would say, yes.

Noin: -sulks in a corner, "Was her date with Quatre really that horrible? . . . I thought it went pretty well."-

Heero: Relena . . . let's go.

Milliardo: -appears out of nowhere- Heero, jealousy is very unbecoming.

Noin: -shrieks- AH! H-Honey, what're you doing here? -"Or up at all?"-

Milliardo: -shrugs- I woke up and found everyone was gone, so I looked at the TV and saw that you all were here.

Noin: -slaps self, "Oh, that's right! We left the TV on!"- Uh, we were coming right back. Right, Heero? -"For once in your life, you better back me up!"-

Heero: . . . Yeah, sure.

-silence once again-

Noin: -"Not very convincing, but at least it's more than his usual, 'Hn.'"-

Milliardo: Doesn't really matter. Let's go.

Noin: -smiles- Oh, alright. Are we walking back?

Milliardo: -as they walk away- No, I brought the car.

Noin: Oooh! Can I drive?

Milliardo: No.

Noin: -sighs- Honestly, sweetie, you're no fun at all. -turns head- Hmm, Heero aren't you coming along?

Heero: -nods- I'll be right there. -turns to Relena- Relena . . . be careful. -walks away-

Relena: That was . . . very unlike Heero.

Duo: -nods- Yeah, usually he puts in an, "I'll kill you" before --

Heero: -from afar- If you two idiots do ANYTHING AT ALL to harm Relena, I'LL KILL YOUUUUUU! -abruptly stops- Hey, Noin let me go of me!

Noin: -from afar also- Heero, get the -beep- in this -beep- car before I have to -beeeeeeep- GASP! The men in black, let's get out of here! Milliardo, step on it!

-car makes a sharp turn and speeds away-

Relena: . . . I don't even know what to say anymore.

Duo: -brightens up- How 'bout we forget all the fighting and go shop around or something?

Trowa: Yes, that sounds like a fine idea, Duo.

Relena: -smiles and nods- Alright. Where do we go?

Duo: -grins- I've got just the place in mind . . .

Narrator: Where will Duo take both Trowa and Relena on their date? And what of these FCC men dressed in black, will they finally leave Noin and the others alone? -"Very unlikely."- Whoa, who said that?

---- Well, that was an experience. XD Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed it with a smile. :D And I hope it was worth the long wait! Don't forget to review, please!


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